Though dress rules have eased considerably in the past few decades, the
episode brought to mind a century-old scrap culled from a copy of the British
Golf Illustrated magazine dated May 1901. The editor wrote: “I devoutly hope
that the American custom of playing golf in shirtsleeves will never obtain in
this country. If the weather is too hot for a flannel jacket, it is too hot
for golf.” Just think how far we’ve come. But have we?

A throw back from military times in colonial India, the correct dress for
golf in Britain, should you choose to wear shorts, is that they may be worn
only with knee-length stockings. Colour remains optional. Some
non-traditional clubs, upstart whipper-snappers every one, allow short socks,
but have yet to bite the bullet on whites only, so black seems the popular
colour of protest. They say you can readily identify an Englishman on holiday
by his black socks and long, baggy shorts. This knee stocking nonsense
applies to men only, you understand. The ladies can (and do) get away with
murder. Indeed, Ladies Day at Dunduffin can be funnier than many TV comedy
acts, especially some of the sights dressed in those Bermuda ‘longs’.

Point I’m making, I suppose, is that big bums look even bigger when draped in
a parachute. Ever the traditionalist, I’m in favour of plus-fours and am delighted to
see a minor upsurge in their popularity. Ladies look elegant in them, while
for the male species they lend an air of swaggering elegance to all save the
most portly. In my club about half the members over 40 now wear plus-fours
(or plus-twos, the slimmer legged equivalent). Payne Stewart, bless his
heart, did more for golfing sartorial elegance than Yves St Laurent and Coco
Chanel put together. By the same standards, there’s a demerit for any
dog-eared scruffbox who tucks his trousers (pants) in his socks, rain or no
rain. I wouldn’t be seen dead doing it, and hope you’re of like mind.
Dress in the clubhouse has in many clubs continued a downward trend
toward scruffy casual. Where once the code demanded a jacket and tie, this
commonly is relaxed in the mixed bar, usually until after sundown. However,
the full dress code applies whenever one is dining. Though this can be
perplexing for our American friends, the rule is still strictly enforced.

Should you forget to bring a tie, it is not unknown for the steward to
produce a soup-stained version from behind the bar, the sort you wouldn’t be
seen dead in back home. To any backslider, this ultimate put-down is
guaranteed to ensure you won’t ever forget again.